Today I got a reading from one of my teachers. I was lamenting over how much weight I have gained during this pregnancy. Just a few months ago, when I heard people complain about pregnancy weight gain, I thought that sounded really vain. Of course you’re supposed to gain weight! You’re making a human! And yet, when my own growth has fallen outside of what is considered average or recommended, it has made me feel like crap.
My wonderful midwives have assured me that they are not very concerned. Everything else about me points to a healthy pregnancy, and as long as I am eating well and exercising, there really isn’t much else that can be done. Truthfully, until I step on a scale, I feel great about how I look. I like my baby bump and I like feeling noticeably pregnant. But the numbers try to tell me that something is wrong or that I will be overweight forever after this baby is born.
As it turns out, this numbers game I play with the scale is really a lesson in self-acceptance. It is not coincidental that this is happening at the same time that I am coming out of the “psychic closet” and daring to be someone that does not fit into the bounds of what is expected of a private school-educated, master’s degree-holding person. I did not plan to be a psychic—it was more like I decided to get better in touch with a skill that I have always possessed. And I LOVE to read people. I love to help other people grow. Yet I told almost no one I was doing this for the first year. I was too afraid of what other people would think. My weight, on the other hand, is out there for all to see, whether I want to hide it or not.
It has been a challenge not to constantly compare myself to other pregnant women. Lay your mat down in a prenatal yoga class and just try not to compare yourself to the woman next to you—whether about how she looks, how flexible she is, or how she is feeling throughout her pregnancy. It will be a struggle.
What I was reminded of today is that my own journey is just that- mine. I am working out lessons that other people around me are not, and at a rate that is all my own. One of my favorite mantras is “I am me and you are you,” and, while it is fun to say and makes you feel nice and cheesy, it also carries a lot of meaning. We are all doing the very best that we can, so it makes more sense to be true to our own paths rather than worry about how we stack up to those around us.
If you are interested in learning more about the lessons you are currently working out, that is what intuitive readings are all about! I am offering free readings for the month of December, both as a gift to others and to myself. It is an opportunity to get some much-needed perspective as well as peace with who you are and what you are working through.
I look forward to reading you soon!